


A Love Song to Finance

by hellzone



Series: How to Deal with a Broken Heart [1]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, World of Warcraft
Genre: Alcohol, Broken Heart, Fantasy setting, M/M, MMO AU, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellzone/pseuds/hellzone
Summary: Benrey watches the Science Team from a distance... Dealing with a surge of grief.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: How to Deal with a Broken Heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941988
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	A Love Song to Finance

**Author's Note:**

> But I thought about him on the bus ride home   
> As I marveled at the raindrops caught on my eyelashes   
> Tapped with an impatience I'd nothing to be home for   
> A growing irritation wishing I was braver

It's cold out in the rain.

Benrey realized that after a while. The massive wet droplets that soaked his skin without mercy. The cold nipped at him, even. The feeling was so strange. Black Mesa didn't have such vicious weather like this, yet here it was. Perhaps that's only because he wasn't in Black Mesa. This was something else, a different game, and the only person who would be able to do that is Gordon… But what reason would the player have to take him here? Was it meant to only be for the other members of the Science Team, because he could surely understand that. Questions swam through his brain as he tried and failed to come up with a proper answer to all of this. There was more feeling in his flesh than Black Mesa. More sensitivity to the elements. He could feel the stone beneath his bare feet, and the raindrops caught on his eyelashes. Benrey's teeth even slightly chattered out in the cold. It was raining, people should be inside… yet here he remained out in the open.

He realized he didn't have the same old guard's uniform from Black Mesa, the game seeming to weave a new, personalized outfit for him. A lovely golden robe with sleeves too long for him and a deep blue cloak with playstation symbols on the hood, all soaked in the rain. He'd forgotten to pull it up, and it was too late to do it now. His dark red-brown hair stuck to his cheeks absolutely soaked. Benrey's hands roamed to grab his arms, an attempt to keep warmth tucked closely against him.

Where was this place anyway? Nothing like he'd recognized. The streets were made of white stone, each building seeming so similar to one another. Benrey found his feet wandering him around to peer at the scenery. Rivers that forked beneath bridges, and roofs colored into sections. It was a strange sight to him, and he wondered if it was for good or for worse. His strange sense of direction lead him to a section where the streets were a deep shade of red, and the stones were smoother against his skin. He could see people sheltering from the rain, chatting and laughing like old friends would.

He stopped outside of a tavern, it’s sign shaking in the wind of the rain. The narrow streets helped for the shadow of the building to cast over him. His red-ringed eyes squinted in attempts to read the name, but ultimately he gave up. Benrey just slowly stepped up the stairs, hoping to find comfort in the place. He reached out his hand to open the door, peeking inside and letting the warmth of the building wash over him. Quickly, he fumbled with the door to shut it behind him, and leaned against the wall for awhile. He didn’t want to stay for long, preferring to stay in the corner to the entrance hall. His hand reached out from his oversized sleeves to brush his rain-soaked hair out of his face, and ultimately, finally pulled his hood up to cast a shadow over his face.

Benrey heard a voice… just ahead from the hall, a melodic familiarity that stuck an old cord in his heart. His breath held slightly as he approached the end of the hall, leaning his head out to look at where the voice originated. A face that rose so many feelings in his heart. Gordon Freeman, in the flesh. He sat at a table with the rest of the Science Team, adorned in heavy steel armor and a genuine grin. The former guard was almost jealous to see him like this, but he held still, far away from Gordon, yet still so close. Benrey couldn’t even move, just watch as Gordon was blissfully unaware of him being there.

He tugged his hood further over his face as he built up the courage to walk across the room. The former guard fumbled in a small bag at his hip, looking for anything he could use… Gold, just a little bit, to help get by. He went and bought a bottle of mead with a quiet voice and minimal words, clutching it tight when it finally came into his hands. He’d do something nice for Gordon… Just this once. Approaching Gordon with slight hesitation, he pulled up a chair with his head down, bottle lightly slammed down onto the table. Gordon visibly paused looking at him, not recognizing the former guard in any way, guessing by the look in the player’s eyes. The Science Team continued with their slight banter, but Gordon held interest in Benrey, for sure.

Gordon opened his lips to speak, but no sound came out, he paused when the former guard slid the bottle of mead over to him. His green eyes stared at the strange gift, then back to the not-stranger. “For me?” Gordon asked, his words slightly quiet and weak in the moment. Benrey responded with a nod, a small smirk forming on his lips… But he felt he couldn’t do anything more than that. His bravery failed him, these people he recognized, he couldn’t be around them for much longer, his mind was like a ticking time bomb. Benrey turned his head the other way as he heard Gordon thank him, then he left the table in a slight rush, holding his breath, hiding his eyes, all until he found himself out in the cold rain.

What the fuck was he thinking? Gordon didn’t want him around, that was the reality that hit him during the boss fight… So why was he still acting like this? He tilted his head upwards as he let the rain just wash over him, a better feeling than anything else in the moment. It didn’t completely hide his warm cheeks and welled-up eyes, but he was trying his damnedest. It hurt Benrey’s heart to remember all the shit they’ve gone through back in Black Mesa. It hurt him worse than the boss fight, even. He went back to his wandering through the streets, hoping to forget, but forgetting never came. He kept on thinking about Gordon and the Science Team, a bitter feeling welling up in his chest. Oh, how fitting that the rain didn’t give in, it only got worse over time. They looked like they were having fun back there… It wouldn’t have been wise to reveal his identity, yet he was so close to doing so. Benrey could imagine the yelling that would’ve taken place in the tavern if he’d done so. Without any shelter from the rain, he let himself be beat by the weather, like a flower in a hurricane.

How terrible it was to deal with a broken heart.

How terrible it was to face the source of his broken heart.

Benrey couldn’t even feel the rain anymore… He was simply entirely sopping wet. How long did he stand out there in the rain, feeling pity for himself? The former guard had no idea, but it must’ve been awhile with the sudden sound of approaching footsteps… and Gordon’s voice. The player held an umbrella against his shoulder as he looked at Benrey, who refused to face him no matter the situation at play. “Hey,” Gordon’s face wore a gentle grin as he offered up his umbrella to the not-stranger, “You need this, man? This weather is pretty bad… I don’t think anyone would like to be that soaked.” A long pause followed as Benrey struggled to make up his mind. Does he HAVE to answer? Does he…? He squeezed his eyes as he mentally yelled at himself, then turned around to answer. “I don’t need it, Feetman” That stupid nickname again, he played it off with a wicked grin. He could see the shock in Gordon’s face, and the player’s hand whipped back, tugging his umbrella close against his body. The confusion was obvious in Gordon’s eyes, and the man stumbled over his words, trying to make sense of the situation.

“B-Benrey!?” He finally breathed out, “But… You’re DEAD, man!”

“I know.” Benrey responded simply, “Video game logic is uh… Freaky, y’know.”

They stared at each other for what felt like a long time. Gordon looking shocked, and Benrey feeling pitiful, they both carried a weight originating from the same place. Gordon soon grew some courage, despite still trying to wrap his head around the situation, he came closer to Benrey and held the umbrella above both of them. The pitter patter of raindrops above his head almost relaxed the former guard. “Why… What…?” Benrey mumbled as he stared at the umbrella between them, a strange anxiety building up in his core. To be honest, Benrey wasn’t used to such negative emotions… They got to him easily and bottled up inside, just hurting him more and more. This was merely a reminder of such. Gordon let out a tired sigh, reaching out his hand and tugging on Benrey’s soaked sleeve. “You wanna come inside, man? It’s pretty warm in there.” Gordon asked with a genuine tone of voice, surprising the former guard. He squinted his head for any sign of false kindness, but he couldn’t find any.

After a slow nod, Gordon held on tight to Benrey, leading him back to the tavern they previously saw each other in. The warmth was more than just physical… It was emotional, and it made him feel so nervous. It was hard to deal with a broken heart, but perhaps it could be mended, perhaps it could be healed over. Despite their past, Gordon displayed honest kindness, and that was something Benrey would remember closely. Having a crush on the player character was kinda shit, but at least Gordon was a genuine type of person.

They spent the night chatting over some mead, and over the time Benrey surely felt his love for Gordon fully resurface. He couldn’t say so to the player’s face, but at least they weren’t in a yelling match like back at Black Mesa.


End file.
